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A series of number marks that today was a totally nightmare for me. A nightmare that I thought I won't recall again since I already 19, one that I thought I have enough mental power to handle, or strike beautifully perharps. Well, I'm wrong. Totally different from what Taylor Swift sings, "today was a fairytale", ironically,I hope it was.
Sometimes, things won't change even if you have grown up. Facts are still facts, those that used to haunt you still do. You want to get over but you just can't.
I want to make this a perfect day for all of us, try to mend things back, back to where I believe is the most perfect. But, now I just want to run away, back to where I am alone there. It might be better for me. I don't need to pick a side to stand with all the distance away. I don't want to see the war. It was hard back when I was a child and it's still not easy now.
Forgive me, but I do believe I have done all the right things and I trust you had too. I will always have the best interest of you in my heart. Love prevails.

When In Pain @ 疼痛时

When I'm in pain, you no need to do much.
Just sit beside me, hold me, even without a word, it will make a world difference for me.
No matter how painful I am, how I wrenched my face, I will still smile because you are here for me, just beside, where I can see, where I can reach.
The PAIN won't be painful anymore, I will appreciate that, cherish dearly.

不要再依恋

他，神秘的，飘浮的，不相信我所信仰的。讽刺的是我的恋恋不舍。
最近，知道现实的残酷，等待的煎熬。等待是痛苦多于甜蜜的。等不到自己想要的，就只有躲到角落舔伤口，只有欺骗自己，他不值得我等待。
但，一再地让自己坠落，放纵，相信这是我与他最后的机会。落空......落空，是最后的答案。
我要的很简单，区区一个答案，但你给不到。
所以，我试着不在乎。不在乎就是王道！原来有时候不太执着，就能坦荡荡。
我从不是个坚持的人。典型的水瓶座，喜新厌旧的个性。
假如你没任何表示，为什么我就要讨好？
我，是好胜的；你，是不解风情的。 所以，我们不交叉。
我的要求很简单，怎知，这也很奢侈。

18 的结束，19的开始。

没来到这个新地方前，有太多的憧憬，太高的期望。承诺自己这将是个新的里程碑，崭新的未来。然而，人生不是事事顺利的。
已经越来越不了解自己，这是我要的？活在众人的期许中？
父母的担心，但强壮镇定，我都懂。
N年前，那聪明的女孩不在了！她少了她应有的那份骄傲。我曾说不哭，认为压力很容易解决。但，我错了。
还找得回吗？不再是主角，还习惯吗？
习惯当观众吗？ 你已经是鼓掌的人，不再站在台上。
好想呐喊，我不再果断，不再相信。 我需要多少的深呼吸，多少的自我催眠才能支撑，再次微笑。
重新出发，需要的是勇气。

trying to live in another way

I have never been a persistent type of person,and I always know that. I literally give up on everything that I could not reach, my studies, a chance for a new relationship...Every single thing that is just in front of me, I don't even care to reach out for it. Well, that's me. People always say that you will get what you want if you earn hard for it. Crap I said. Sometimes,things just won't go your way. Endure with it, that's what I did, and look now, I have become a don't-care-much person. I smile, I laugh, but deep inside, it's a well of sorrow.
I believe everyone is more or less good in faking because being your true self won't work in this world. Hypocrites we are. Fake a smile and everything will be better. However, I still believe everything will turn out just fine. I'm a strong believer, fight through all this depression and survive!! Being myself is the way.

Yo...I am back with G-dragon in JAIL, man!! check it up!!

Well, firstly, to jef, have you seen this?? The title specially for you. haha..

How long has it been?haha..Stop blogging for quite a while,since August. People around me keep fussing me about this blog. So now I decided to update it, a comeback with G-dragon again!! He is truly a heartbreaker. Broke my heart when I knew about it, Jef were the first to tell me this heartbroken news. In McD I rememered, somemore exam week!! Phew, what a timing.
hopefully all goes well for GD and Bigbang.

So guys, I have updated my blog, stop messing and teasing me about the previous unchanged post. I will try my best to stay updated. haha.. I am not a persisitent type of person.

Liz, there I wrote your name here. haha..happy??

p/s: Haven't packed!!

yo...i m back with G-dragon!!!

yeahh...i think i will start updating my blog again..look forward for it everyone!!
it's a serious announcemant..haha..^^happy homework-ing day!!
holiday=no holiday..haizz